Poetry inspired by PeopleSoft
inspired in part by my affection for a certain GL configuration item
Speak not in language Crystal clear
Lest we might understand it,
Instead confound all those who hear—
For PeopleSoft demands it!
Now, when you use the word "account"
Be sure that you confound it
With meanings varied. Let the fount
Of PeopleBooks expound it!
And many "definitions" use,
Accounting Entry...Template?
With "Journal Entry" then confuse
In phrases quite intemperate.
But when a simple term would do,
For instance, "budget check it,"
You must invent a phrase brand new
To make our lives more hectic.
Then when "commitment" and "control"
We easily are pairing
"Accounting" must fulfil the role,
No phrase familiar sparing.
The Project Costing module fair;
The projects used to patch it—
The project team cries in despair
At this linguistic racket:
How convoluted and complex!
Aesthetically repelling!
This PeopleLanguage so perplex—
Is any term compelling?
The system may annoy while we
Configure it and tune it—
Yet what delight it is to see
Those "Ledgers for a Unit"!
with apologies to Joyce Kilmer
I think that I shall never see
A structure complex as a tree
A tree whose structure must have nodes
Yet leafless be in winter modes;
A tree that's looked to by reports
And processes of many sorts;
A tree that must in summer mild
Have detail values for each child;
A tree whose levels may be strict
(If this the option you have picked).
Tree Audit's run by fools like me
When PeopleSoft has trashed a tree.
but we really love OracleSoft
When Larry came a-courting
'Twas jealousy, they said—
He could not bear his rival fair
Young Edwards for to wed.
So Larry came a-courting
His tender offer this:
Sixteen per each common share.
(He spoke no words of bliss.)
For Larry has come courting—
Who'd dare refuse his hand?
The Oracle has spoken, so
The customers be damned!
Though Larry came a-courting
His offer was refused.
So with more cash (from his great stash)
The deal he hath infused.
Again he has come courting;
Again he has been spurned.
His goal, provoked, the law invoked.
With rage our Larry burned.
Still Larry comes a-courting;
Still Larry has such gall:
For he must rule—or be the tool
To ruin rivals all.
who's afraid of commitment (control)?
(while on short-term consulting contracts Ms. Kuser frequently uses the login ID of KKUSER)
He had no commitments, his fancy was free,
His life in control—when they asked him to be
A part of the Project, assigned to this role:
The expert in charge of Commitment Control.
Control fields & Rulesets, Translations & Keys,
He learned to define with the greatest of ease.
Now, he was committed, so he did not mind
The effort, the hours—to the Project resigned
As it took control of his mind and his life.
He should be committed for biding such strife!
Control fields & Rulesets, Translations & Keys,
He slowly went mad with the greatest of ease.
A fellow commitment control freak was she
(He was quite impressed by her work on that tree).
His mind was o'erridden (his heart held it sway),
His reason was bypassed by feelings for Kay.
Control fields & Rulesets, Translations & Keys,
The key to his heart, ah, was lost with such ease.
But Kay was the sort, of commitment afraid,
Consulted and traveled, but, oh, never stayed;
Encumbrance of heart she could never permit.
It was for the best—he would sadly admit—.
Control fields & Rulesets, Translations & Keys,
He slowly regained his control yes, through these.
But maybe someday when the Project was through...
Of parents and children he dreamed, and this, too,
That one day his Kay might be more than a friend.
But he knew the truth: Projects never will end.
Control fields & Rulesets, Translations & Keys,
He knew that he only was destined for these.
The Project already was out of control:
There was no escape and he still knew his role.
No, Projects don't end, and he still would be here
He would be committed for year after year.
Control fields & Rulesets, Translations & Keys
Had come to define him with greatest of ease.
He already had a commitment to meet,
No tol'rance had he for diversions (though sweet).
Control he regained, so that, true to his goal,
Committed remained to Commitment Control
Control fields & Rulesets, Translations & Keys
His heart was committed to things such as these.
in memoriam Sparky
You'd not kvetch
But faithful, fetch
Each message log.
Though every dog
Will have its day
You did not stay,
Your day is past.
Retired at last
Your day is done,
Replaced by "Run"
(A faceless square,
No loyalty there!)—
No dog and ball
On which to call.
Ah! I regret
We never met.
I'll ever miss
The chance for this:
To give a click
And Sparky kick!
or The More Things Change
No code upon the client, no,
Your browser's all you need.
But clear your cache! Make sure you know
You're patched and up to speed.
No ugly mainframe terminal,
No more CICS.
But JavaScript, HTML,
And PeopleCode, no less!
The other side of Y2K
With objects all the rage...
Yet what's invoked so oft today
By modern Web-based page?
Who knew? So many years ago
When I was but a frosh—
The COBOL class I took would grow
More relevant, by gosh!
In honor of the occasion of our first PeopleSoft payroll,
especially dedicated to our HR/Payroll implementation team and their IT support staff.
Job Reqs have been filled;
eRecruit has hired.
Our worst fears have been stilled...
And no one's yet been fired.
It's starting to make sense—
The lessons we have learned!
Like: Faculty Events
Will track the tenure earned,
And Contract Pay will tell
The academic year.
Positions? Manage well.
Workforce? Administer.
We've processed Time Admin
(We've Labored through its fits!)
The Admin brother Ben
Keeps up our benefits.
Now payroll is confirmed!!
Our very first pay run.
Yet this we have affirmed—
We've only just begun.
Long hours our staff has stayed
Now checks have gone to print:
Employees will be paid!
And EFT files sent!
And then, behind the scene
Distribute funds, pull cost,
Run PAYGL0 2 and 3:
The lines to GL tossed.
Deductions we collect
(And also lots of tax)
Providers now expect—
So send AP extracts.
Now all've received their pay,
Accounting's happy, too.
So let's call it a day—
Then start the cycle new!
but will I have to stop calling them PeoplePoems?
Now who could argue this conclusion:
That all around us lies confusion,
Of data, oh, so much profusion!
Of errors, far too much intrusion!
Lo! Faint, afar—hope? or illusion?
A promise of the best's inclusion,
Enhanced with every good infusion
From Oracle's intense collusion.
No longer schema in seclusion;
From open source there's much diffusion.
Oh, may it never disillusion!
All upgrade paths lead forth to Fusion.
(PeoplePoem 9.0)
The time has come, it is quite plain—
New features make it worth the pain,
Improvements mean so much to gain:
The time has come to upgrade!
Install from disk, pristine and new,
A demo instance to review:
Behold! the things that it will do!
We must commence our upgrade!
The database you must prepare,
Apply Tools changes, then compare,
Run upgrade projects, if you dare.
We've now begun to upgrade!
Conversion scripts, compare the rows,
Test move to prod, see how it goes.
(The process keeps you on your toes.)
Keep working on the upgrade!
Compare reports pile up quite deep,
Review and choose what mods to keep:
More retro-fits mean fitful sleep.
So many things to upgrade!
Write test scripts, try to make it break,
Then fix the bugs, another take.
Drink caffeine—lots to stay awake.
It's tedious to upgrade!
The database you must re-tune,
The list of tasks seems to balloon,
It never can be done too soon,
It takes so long to upgrade!
All testing done? No more to mod?
When you're quite ready move to prod—
Then check that things are not too odd.
We've almost done the upgrade!
At last! The moment we await:
Announce we're done and celebrate.
What new release? We're out of date?
It's time again to upgrade!
The system transactional,
With tables quite rational
Works well to record.
But what for reporting needs?
A warehouse for data feeds,
Where they can be stored.
If you have an Enterprise
To Manage Performance-wise,
You need something smart.
Your data you must Extract,
Transform, and Load into: Fact,
Dimension to start.
So that you can analyze--
What's normal, denormalize,
Materialize views.
Place these in your datamarts
And now you've got business smarts!
With dashboards to choose.
You've Answers for questioning,
Requests for that pestering
And need-to-know type.
Now, with no distorting, say...
You've got great reporting! Yay!
At least that's the hype.