loyd.net

I often dream of dad.
They are never vivid dreams,
Never ones with any meaning that I can find.
But he is always alive.
These dreams are often set in the past:
I am younger and he is alive.
Sometimes he is sick,
And I know he will die,
But he hasn't died yet.

I would like some dream that reassures me,
One of those dreams people say they have,
Where they hear from the one who is gone.
I would like some reassuring dream,
Though my mind says there is no proof in dreams,
Dreams are just our neurons firing,
Triggering old memories.
I would like some reassuring dream,
Though my spirit says it is sacrilege to consort with ghosts.

I would like to dream of my father now,
I would like him to tell me that he is all right,
That he still loves me,
That he is still proud of me.
I would like him to tell me that I was right,
That the God I serve loves him as much as I do.
I would like him to tell me that even though his life was difficult
He has now found rest for his weary soul.

But I'll take the dreams I get,
The dreams where dad is still alive,
Where life was difficult, but at least it was life.
I'll take these dreams,
Because I miss my dad,
And the dreams are the only way I can see him again.

Dreamscape XII Dreamscape Dreamscape XIV