loyd.net

I remember
how you lay there
dying, breathing loud—
      gasp in
      gasp out
was all I heard
the whole night through.

I could not sleep
(I barely tried)
I did not want to leave your side—
      gasp in
      gasp out
you breathed so hard.

or did you snore?
come on!
wake up!
just one time more.

      gasp in
      gasp out

I held your hand
until
one final
      gasp
and then you died.

to this day still
I hear that rasp
of how you fought
until the last to breathe—
so strong that breath
so strong your grasp
upon my hand.

I could not now forget that sound—
      (gasp in
      gasp out)
it forms
an underlying beat
to all the songs that I shall hear henceforth;

could not forget
nor would I try—
you were my start,
my origin,
my older self—
your soul, your spirit,
breath,
is mine!

I will not
will not
let you go.

That of importance Portraits Lessons learned