Sayings

Some things I've been overheard to say

• Universities and psychiatric hospitals are all mental institutions.
• Talking to one's self is a sign of genius...at least, that's what I tell myself.
• I'm off!--and I'm also leaving.
• My Theory of Relativity: The closer you approach your relatives, the slower time seems to go.
• Half of one and six dozen of the other.
• It takes more muscles to frown than to smile--therefore frowning is better exercise.
• They say memory is the first thing to go. Well, I'm not sure if that's what they say or not. I just can't recall.
• Life is...a magazine. It's also a cereal and a board game.
• It's hard to install a sprinkler system when you're busy putting out fires.
• There's no such thing as a stupid question, there are just stupid people.
• If you want something done right...ask me to do it.
• All work and no play...hey, I guess I am pretty dull.
• The only culture in my life is growing in my refrigerator.
• Given a list of n items, it is usually possible to recall n - 1 items.
• My brain is like a red, red rose; it fades real fast, then dead, dead goes.
• I'm so brilliant, my mom calls me daughter.
• If cleanliness is next to godliness, why settle for second best?
• I have a morbid sense of humor. It's the only think that keeps me alive.